A warm sunny day - what is it and how to cope

Good day, I am from the ministry of weather. Now I know that many of you out there will have been somewhat perplexed by the warm sunny spell that we recently experienced.

So this is a public information message to reassure you.

Part one - how to recognise a warm sunny day
A sunny day is a period of more than one hour when the big yellow thingy in the sky is not hidden by grey fluffy things. Warm is when you are able to remove a garment without immediately freezing.

Part two - background to the situation
Sometimes on rare occasions in the UK, mostly during the Summer time, we see the big yellow thingy against a blue background.

Part three - what to do
First off, do not panic! This is not the first time it has happened. Check this out on Wiki.
After a while, we start to lose touch with what a warm sunny day actually means.
Sometimes, the sun is so large and all-encompassing that we struggle to put it into words. Just sit down with a long cool drink and let it slowly sink in.

Part four - seeking help
The most effective way to do this is to phone a friend. Meet together and offer each other support or perhaps consider using a park bench for support.

Part five - make the most of it
It’s worth taking stock of what this latest crisis actually means for you and what you can do to help you cope. Find a nice spot beneath a leafy tree and sit on the grass. This is the unique time to actually enjoy having ice in your drink, yes I know this will come as a shock! But ice in drinks is not always a punishment inflicted on patrons by the hospitality industry.

Then whip out a cucumber sandwich from your lunch box and eat it. For the best results cut the crusts off and cut the sandwich diagonally into quarters.

Finally enjoy the moment because that may be all you get for a while. Never fear, the grey things will soon return and cover the blue bit and the sunny bit will disappear for a vey long time.

A Poem for the Ukraine 

 

Ye powerful hags, of the Northern hills,

Rid our friends of, their terrible ills.

I doth here invoke, and call upon ye,

Ye hags rough ride out, return and help me.

 

Oh thou cavalcade, of women riding,

Dreadful shield-maidens, the battle deciding.

Defend our Ukraine, from Putin attack,

Help us overthrow, and send them back.

 

Tha mihtigan wif, return to us now,

Dreadful Wælcyrige, protect them somehow.

With ragged garments, and thine linden shield,

Like devils ride out, on this battle field.

 

Oh ye Haegtesse, with helmets on head,

Fill our enemies, with thine battle dread.

Ride ye loudly through, fair country again,

Through heathen sky come, cast out the profane.

 

May din of thine spears, force army to flea,

Thunor's magic spear, from ash the world tree.

Females from beyond, return to help me,

May all sacred country be Putin free!

Introduction (this poem was first published on my Facebook page on 1st March 2022)

During WWII there existed a squadron of Ukrainian female fighter pilots known as нічні відьми (night witches). They flew at night reaching the enemy at dawn with the sun behind them. They were much feared and were very successful in their raids.

This poem employs the somewhat unusual construct of invoking an Anglo-Saxon mythical group akin to the night witches to come to our aid and help defeat the invading armies in Ukraine.

The Haegtesse were wild, armed supernatural women riding out in a group and causing harm havoc and mayhem! But were also known to help warriors on the battlefield and hinder others. These Supernatural cavalcades rode loudly over the landscape. They were also referred to as ‘ða (tha) mihtigan wif’ (the mighty women) and were seen as a cavalcade of riding women shooting its victims.

In some documents the word Haegtesse was used as a scan for Wælcyrige, sometimes the term ‘shield-maidens’ was employed. From the word Haegtesse we also derive the word hag used in Saxon times to describe a witch.